Helicopter Moms, PTA Moms, Inattentive Moms, Working Moms, Stay at Home Moms, Work from Home Moms, Crunchy Moms, Pinterest Moms, Drill Sergeant Moms, Overprotective Moms, Tiger Moms, Dragon Moms, OCD Moms, Positive Parenting Moms, Unconventional Moms, Pushover Moms, Know-It-All Moms, Social Media Moms, Insecure Moms…
These are all REAL labels given to different types of moms. I mean, you can look them up in the online dictionaries and actually get definitions! And this isn’t even all of them. Why do we do this to ourselves? I know I’ve only been in the game for 4 years but how long has this been going on?
In talking to my mom, when she catches me referring to another mother as one of these labels, she always stops me and asks what it means. Apparently, life was much easier 35 years ago when I was born. Back then, if you had children, you were a Mom. PERIOD. No necessity to define it further. Being a mom meant that you had children, whether you gave birth to them or adopted, that you were responsible for raising to the best of your ability- teaching ethics and morals along the way. HOW you did that didn’t matter. Moms back then didn’t constantly shame each other thinking their way is better. They just did it. They raised kids.
In looking up each and every one of these “types” of moms, I can honestly say in an open-minded manner that not a single one of them is “wrong.” In fact, in most cases, we are just trying our best to make it work, all the while thinking that we are failing miserably.
I’m guilty. I have often said, without really thinking about it, “I try really hard not to be a helicopter mom.” Well today, I went to a local splash pad for a playdate. It was in an outdoor mall so it was enclosed with buildings but still open. I had my 4 year old who made friends with some other kids there and they were playing hide and seek. I tried not to panic every time my son was hiding and I couldn’t see him. I wanted so badly to tell him to stop playing that and to stay where I could see him. Then I also had the 1 year old with me. The splash pad was relatively small so I was letting her walk around the edge, being the little independent woman she is. There were a few occasions when I was talking to another mom and looked up and didn’t see her. Then I did panic, asking all the moms around me “have you seen her?” Each time this happened, she was right next to me. Whew.
When I got home later that day, I was reminded by some inappropriate social media practices just how dangerous things are today. Those times when I couldn’t see my children at the splash pad, even though it was a matter of 2 or 3 seconds, that is enough time for someone to take off with them. Some creep could’ve seen them on facebook and saw where our moms group was meeting. You just never know these days. What would I say if something happened- if someone grabbed my baby? What would I tell the police? “I was trying not to be a helicopter mom?” Really? I will never utter those words again.
I guess my point is that while all of these types of moms exist now, there is always another type of mom putting that one down. There is always groups of moms who judge the others. Why in the world do we do that? Using these labels, even if you aren’t TRYING to put down another type of parenting, is doing nothing but making us second guess our own style of parenting. It makes us think twice on whether or not we are doing it RIGHT. These days, its scary to raise kids. There are so many predators out there. Could you forgive yourself if you went against what felt right for the sake of not being a particular “label” and something horrible happened?
I’m so done with this. Soooo DONE! From now on, I’m not an overprotective mom, or a helicopter mom, or a social media mom, or a pinterest mom, or any of the others. I’m a mom who goes with her gut and does what she feels is best for her kids.
I’M A MOM. PERIOD. Who’s with me?